If you have ever been in a relationship then you know that a perfect relationship doesn’t exist. There are fights, conflicts, and even break ups. Sometimes relationships have that one person that just gets so angry and they claim Sudden-death statements “Sudden-death statements occur when people get so angry that they suddenly declare the end of the relationship, even though breaking up wasn’t a possibility before the conflict.” (McCornack and Morrison 277) Unfortunately with my luck, that person is me. Throughout the relationship I am in currently, I can somehow turn any fight into something that has a reason for breaking up. I can turn one teeny tiny detail into something that is a catastrophic and is the end-all-be-all to us.
My boyfriend and I bicker about small things a lot, and I somehow manage to find a reasoning behind it for that to be our sign for things to end. I believe that I do this because if I am pushing someone away and if they leave then I can not feel bad that they left because I initiated it. However, fortunately for me my boyfriend is an amazing, kind, and caring person and when I claim these Sudden-death statements he just ignores them and helps me through what I’m trying to process. He loves me unconditionally and while we both acknowledge this being an issue, he tries his absolute best to try and help me through this because he knows what I am feeling is just lost and confused. When I say these things to him I usually just want him to give me a big hug and just reassure me he loves me because I feel unlovable in these moments, thus why I say these terrible things to him. I am extremely thankful for this man and without him I am unsure where I would be in life. Another thing that I have to thank is the fact I am taking a communications class. Being socially anxious does not let you learn social cues very well, so I’m learning how to deal with my urge to shout these Sudden-death statements with nonviolent communication skills and other ways around this.
Carly's Self Reflections... 